30+ Hilarious Tweets That Sum Up the High and Lows of Kids’ Birthday Parties

Isn’t this the most hilarious kids’ party theme you’ve ever heard? Where on earth did he hear that phrase? He wants to keep it simple and have him and his dudes hanging out, just being bros.

Despite how hilariously chilled out this party idea is, how does a parent even go about planning something for this? Are they expecting some ‘dudes being bros’ activities, maybe a cake? Good luck to you.

Most people either love mayonnaise or ketchup, with the occasional weirdos who like both. You only get to choose one! Here we’ve got a fellow mayo fan who’s determined to have the weirdest collection of birthday party themes.

This kid is out to make her parents’ lives as difficult as possible. They definitely dread her birthday every year. Who knows what next year’s theme request will be? Will these weird themes carry on for the rest of her life? So many questions.

There’s something so sweet about siblings showing up for each other and putting a lot of love and hard work into something like this. This brother insisted on taking the reins for his sister’s cake, and we think he smashed it!

Sure, it wouldn’t go very far on “Is It Cake?” But the amount of love that went into this cake makes it perfect in our eyes. That girl is going to remember this cake for the rest of her life and how much work her older brother put in — so cute!

A lot of kids ask for Disney-themed parties and cakes. They’re normally bright, glittery, and happy cakes. This kid had a different idea, though. Asking for a cake of the saddest death in the Disney universe is a bold move.

But if it gets the other kids to not eat your cake, then it’s all worth it. We can only imagine how that conversation went… ‘Oh, a Lion King cake? Sure.’ ‘Yes, but the bit where Mufasa plummets to his death.’ Childhood-destroying scene, for sure.

Mrs. Doubtfire was a huge part of our childhoods, so we’re so glad it’s being passed on to kids today. And what a great idea for a party, despite it perhaps being the most specific theme ever.

Maybe it’s not necessarily about the inevitable divorce but how much fun it looked like everyone was having. The kid saw a group of people having the time of their lives and just wanted to recreate that for her friends — so cute.

This kid is really in her element. When kids go to school, they normally end up either being math and science lovers or going down the artsy English path. We’ve definitely got a future scientist on our hands here.

You had better hope that all her friends are also budding mad scientists, but as long as she has a good time, that’s all that matters. Now, the biggest struggle is, how on earth do you make a cake that looks like an atom? Good luck.

If there’s one thing that most kids find absolutely hilarious, it’s poop. We just know that she and her friends came up with this together, scheming about how they can incorporate poop into one of their birthday parties.

The theme might be a little crap, but we bet that the party certainly wasn’t! Although, we must say that a poop-themed cake doesn’t sound entirely appetizing. We sure hope that’s chocolate…

Some kids are total history nerds, and that’s okay! Pompeii was definitely a fascinating part of history, but we’re not sure that it’s fascinating enough to make it into a birthday party theme. Is there that much fun in catastrophic eruptions?

At least there are quite a few fun things you could do with this slightly tragic theme. If you’re looking for a game to tire out the kids, the ‘floor is lava’ would be perfect. Stuck for a cake idea? Lava cakes are your solution.

There’s a certain obsession kids have with mythical creatures, and we wonder why. Maybe it’s the possibilities of things they can do or the fascination with daydreaming about magical realities. But there are no unicorn or mermaid-themed parties here…

It’s werewolf-themed, of course! Hey, at least you’ll be able to easily find some great costumes and decorations in the fancy dress store. Better yet, you can save it all for Halloween.

The Middle-earth universe is full of some pretty great characters that many of us grew up absolutely loving. Maybe your favorite was Gandalf, or you had a soft spot for Gollum, but Balrog might be a little rogue.

It may be a little dark and hellish to have as a kid’s birthday party theme, but the message is pretty powerful. Who wouldn’t want to throw their enemy from the mountainside and wish nothing but pain on them? Petty, but we like it.

This kid sure knows where he stands in the Apple vs Microsoft fan wars. He’s a Microsoft kid through and through. This looks exactly like the kind of party that a slightly nerdy IT department would throw.

The parents went into such detail to get this one right, though! If there’s anything we can learn from this, it’s that if your kid wants a party theme, they’re getting it! No matter how much work you have to put in, it’s always worth it for them to be happy.

These birthday parties show that some kids have super specific and sometimes weird interests, but this one certainly takes the cake (get it?). Either this kid wants to be a police officer or detective when they grow up or, well, the person they’re chasing.

Whoever made this cake put quite a bit of hustle into making it. Even if it’s super morbid, there’s no denying that it actually looks really good. We’re not too sure how many kids would actually want a slice, though.

We’re all for astrological signs and their stereotypes, and this little Libra is certainly fitting into her star sign. Libras and their indecisiveness, ugh! To be fair, choosing a birthday party theme can be a stressful time.

Why can’t she just have a little bit of everything? Don’t make the poor girl choose. We bet that she’ll finally come up with a definitive idea and then change her mind the night before the party. Absolute classic.

Seeing decade/year-themed parties makes anyone over 20 feel incredibly old. What do you mean the theme is 2001, and that was 23 years ago? Hey, one day, 2024 is going to be vintage to kids.

If the playlist doesn’t consist of Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, and a little bit of S Club 7, then you’re totally doing it wrong. And we better see a lot of neon, double denim, and not an iPhone in sight.

At first, you’d assume that he was asking for a tree-themed cake. Hey, maybe the kid just really loves nature. But, no. He actually wants his mom to go outside and make a cake out of branches.

It sure would be a cheap way to make a cake, but we’re not sure how edible it would be. The other parents certainly wouldn’t be happy. You can’t tell us that this kid isn’t secretly a beaver in human disguise wanting to build a dam.

This kid is wise beyond his years. He’s had enough of stereotypical kid birthday party themes and is ready to take life seriously. Forget about dinosaurs and space themes — what could be more serious than an H&R Block party?

There’s no time to party when we’ve got taxes on our minds. What sort of activities would this party entail? Maybe the kids will have to do the parents’ income tax returns. That wouldn’t go down well at all.

Bottle flipping was a huge fad in 2017 (when this tweet was posted), so we can totally understand a kid wanting this as a party theme. Genuinely, there was nothing more impressive than being able to land a bottle flip.

But this poor mom! How much can you actually plan, decorate, and cater for with this theme? Surely, kids will get bored of bottle flipping for hours on end. Hey, at least it’d be a budget-friendly party.

All kids have their favorite Disney film, and — to be honest — most of us are obsessed with Finding Nemo. What a cute, emotional, and thrilling story it is! Some of us may have been a little scared of the film, particularly the sharks and the divers.

This kid, however, is totally and completely obsessed. So much so that he went super specific with his birthday cake request… ‘the diver who steals Nemo.’ This is a pretty impressive execution, though!

A lot of kids want to invite literally everyone they know to their birthday party and just love hanging out with other kids. Well, not this child! Having an animal-themed party is the perfect way to avoid people; just invite a bunch of pets.

Whoever made this cake absolutely killed it, but it’s a shame you’re not invited — animals only. Maybe next year. This kid is wise beyond his years and already understands that not all humans are good!

Kids have some pretty niche interests, but an obsession with Big Ben may be the best one yet. To British people, it might be a pretty mundane landmark, but tourists can’t get enough of it.

Of course, this led to the kid wanting a London-themed birthday party. We can’t even begin to imagine how stereotypical that party is going to be, but as long as the kids have fun, that’s all that matters. Plenty of tea and scones, we’re sure.

Look, we hate the boys will be boys stereotype as much as the rest of you, but they’re not helping themselves here. If you have sons, you’ll totally understand how real this situation is. Why are they always farting?

We’re sure that even though it’s a little gross, they were definitely having fun. As long as they’re happy, that’s all that matters. As for that memory book, put it in anyway! They’ll all find it hilariously embarrassing when they’re older.

We need to know exactly when we have to arrive and, most importantly, when we can leave. We’re all for our kids having fun with each other, but parents are rarely having fun themselves.

Even if it’s an estimate, please let us know how long we have to stand back and listen to too many kids screaming. We’re not trying to be rude, we promise! We just want to be able to leave as soon as possible, that’s all.

You’ll never understand this kind of stress until you have to throw a kid’s birthday party yourself. There’s so much to organize and so much thinking involved beforehand and throughout the party. Like the OP said, some may say childbirth is easier!

It’s totally, definitely, completely worth it to see how happy the kids are… we just wish they would stop screaming and breaking things. Then it’s over, and, oh wait, it’s your other kids’ birthday next month… and you’ve gotta do it all over again.

Every other kids’ party has a magician. We mean, they’re pretty cool, and kids seem to like them, so if it works, it works. They pull out all sorts of tricks, like the classic rabbit in the hat or the handkerchief in the sleeve.

But maybe we would start believing in magic again if they could magically zap us home and out of this hellscape. Why are kids’ parties so unbearable? Please free us of this burden and make us disappear, even for ten minutes.

We totally understand that kids don’t really have a strong concept of time yet, nor can they often remember when their birthday is. But, damn, we’re sick of telling them every single day that it’s not their birthday yet.

At least the big day does finally arrive, and they’re overcome with joy. Peace at last. It never lasts long, though. You already know that the very next day, they’ll go back to asking when their birthday is again. Dude, you just had it!

At some point, you just get used to knowing that your child is going to change their mind about a hundred times, even over the tiniest things. That’s why committing to making a cake and planning a party is a downright nightmare.

They always seem to time it perfectly, too. You’ll have bought the decorations, sent out the invites, and then you’ll do the last bit of icing on the cake. And then, your kid strolls in and says everything is the complete opposite of what they want *internal screaming*.

On our kids’ birthdays, we like to do nice things for them. It’s often stuff that they wouldn’t get to do on normal days. In this kid’s case, it was having cereal. This mom thought she was doing something nice, but she was mistaken!

Somehow, everything seems to backfire, and kids seem to hate anything they thought they would love. Hey, at least you now know never to buy cereal for your kid again. Lesson learned.

Kids are often easily entertained and relatively low maintenance. Sure, they’d definitely have fun if you splashed out on all the ‘boujee’ party stuff, but sometimes less is more. As long as they’re doing something with their friends, the birthday will be a hit.

Who remembers spraying themselves with water from the hose as kids? This hits totally differently, especially on a hot summer’s day. If the kids are happy and the party is cheap, this seems like it’s the perfect celebration.

Giving kids little goody bags at the end of parties is really sweet, and we appreciate parents doing stuff for kids that aren’t their own. But, please, we’re begging you to stop putting whistles in the bags.

Hours of headaches at the party to then come home and hear off-tune whistles for the next few days is our idea of hell. Just give them a few pieces of candy and a little temporary tattoo, and they’re set. Just. No. Whistles.

Why is it always the last kid who seems to hang around for so long? Take the hint, buddy. In their defense, they are probably waiting for their late parent to come pick them up. There’s always that one parent who never shows up on time.

When they do eventually leave, it’s such a relieving feeling. Peace at last! You can relax for about 30 seconds before you remember all the cleaning up you have to do. Why is there so much smushed cake and glitter everywhere?

Maybe it’s just something about being a kid and being a little gross, but there’s always at least one kid that’s horrifically sick. To be honest, you’re lucky if it’s just one. Usually, it’s over half of the guests.

That dreaded feeling you get seeing them snot all over the place and wipe their booger-covered hands everywhere is awful. You just start mentally preparing to fall ill in the next few days. Gotta love a party!

Just like kids get all the snacks and soft drinks they want at parties, we think there should be something for the adults, too. Whether it’s a drink to give us a little buzz or a tasty snack, we need some sustenance, too!

If we’re forced to sit through hours of listening to kids screaming while they run laps around us, we’re going to need something to get through it. We don’t ask for much — just 4 for every 10 kids that you invite.

There’s something so satisfying about that incredible scene in Shawshank Redemption. Who knew that years later, we’d get to experience that same feeling as parents? Finally, being able to leave a kids’ birthday party is a close second to a prison break.

It does feel like you’re in a high-pressure, slightly terrifying experience, and you are desperate to touch grass and breathe some fresh air. The minute you step out of those front doors, it’s just like freedom.

Let’s be honest — when has planning a party, especially for a kid, ever been a stress-free situation? Oh yeah, that’s right, never! It might sound fun at first, but you’ll soon turn yourself totally insane… just wait.

The only advice we can give you is to keep things simple and get as much help as possible. If a mom is telling you something is super stressful, she’s speaking from experience! If you’re planning a kid’s party right now, good luck.

Getting married and starting a family comes with so many positives, but there are certainly some moments that aren’t as great. Being a parent literally becomes a 24/7 job, so prepare to make some sacrifices.

Unfortunately, one of those sacrifices will be spending your weekends at kids’ birthday parties. Say goodbye to coffee dates and afternoons playing golf; your designated personal time is now close to zero.

What we’ve certainly learned so far is that planning a birthday party for a kid can be ridiculously stressful. Once you think you’ve finally got everything planned, you’re thrown for a loop, and the kid changes their mind on the theme.

So, we say, just keep things super simple. You don’t even need a plan! Just give them some sugar, maybe put a little bit of music on, and let them run around your house for a few hours. They’ll have fun and will be exhausted for their parents later.

We’re not saying that we regret having kids, but there’s something super humbling about reflecting on your current situation. How on earth did time fly so fast, and now we’re sitting here planning our kid’s birthday party?

If anything, this proves how stressful we’ve been saying party planning is. But hey, it’s all totally worth it when you’re surrounded by happy kids. Even if they’re loud, snotty, gross, and sometimes a little bratty.

Moms may look super happy from afar, but the closer you get and the more you dig, the more you’ll see that we’re way beyond tired. You’ll slowly start to see the bags under their eyes seep through while they’re trying their best to look alive.

If you see a totally exhausted mom at their child’s birthday party, we’re begging you to take one for the team and give them a five-minute break. Just keep the kids busy while we put our feet up for a little bit — we’re exhausted.

Don’t these kids know how to play mini-golf properly? Someone’s gotta be enforcing the rules properly. If the kids aren’t going to play by the rules, they shouldn’t be playing at all. No fun here, just serious mini-golfing.

How can we even pause to have a minute of fun when we’re surrounded by kids who just can’t even allocate a little bit of seriousness to a game of mini-golf? We’re not asking for too much here, are we?

This is classic dad behavior. We’re not saying that every dad is like this, but they often do like to kick back and let the mom plan everything. As long as they’ve got a way to block at the nose, they’re happy.

Maybe we should turn the tables and let the mom take some Tylenol and listen to some calming music through her headphones? Dad can deal with the chaotic screaming for once. Better yet, both zone out and let the kids go crazy (joke!).

Isn’t it so mean when kids don’t invite other kids to their party? Well, this kid doesn’t care if she was invited or not — she’s going anyway. Who needs an invite anyway? If you know the location, time, and date, off you go.

What kind of inviter are you? Do you tell your kid to invite everyone in the class so no one feels left out, or do you only let them invite a small number of friends? It doesn’t matter because they may just show up anyway.

Every now and then, parents think about providing something for the parents to eat. So, why do we keep saying no every time we’re offered? The other parents eat our snacks at our kids’ parties.

Who have we become saying no to a slice of pizza? Maybe we’re just so drained from watching this unbearable party, and we’re a little delirious. Here’s a little tip — please take the slice of pizza next time… you deserve it!

Sometimes, the only escape from painfully horrific situations is to kick back and scroll through your phone. That’s how a lot of us get through kids’ parties. Imagine the horror of showing up to your kid’s friend’s party, and there’s no Wi-Fi or signal.

What do you mean we’ve got to mingle with the other parents? No, thanks! But hey, at least you’re now prepared for anything the world throws at you because nothing else could ever be such a great test of endurance and survival.

Let’s be real — aren’t we all going to try and raise our kids to have the same obsessions as us? This Star Wars-obsessed dad has clearly set his daughter on the right path. We’d even argue that she may be a bigger fan than him.

What thing are you going to try to force your child to enjoy? Whether it’s your favorite musician or a brilliant series of films, you’ve gotta get them into it young so they become super fans like this young girl.

The amount of viral videos of kids blowing the candles out on a cake that’s not theirs is insane. We all only get one birthday a year, so why do some kids try to steal the moment from other kids? Your time will come soon, buddy, but it’s not today.

Parents, we’re begging you to teach your children not to be brats. Not everything has to be about them; they don’t need to blow out every candle. How would they like it if we did it to them on their birthday?