Planning to pop the question to your partner? While it can be tempting to go with something dramatic like what you see on social media or on TV, it would be way more special if you try to make the proposal authentic and personal. There are a lot of things you should be careful of when planning the big moment. Experts Michele Velazquez, co-founder of The Heart Bandits, and Alysha Jeney, a licensed relationship therapist and founder of Modern Love Counseling, both weigh in on things to avoid when proposing and things you can do instead.
Build the Anticipation
While it might seem like a good idea to make the proposal a surprise for your partner, it should never come as a total surprise. Talking to your partner about spending the rest of your lives together should always be the first step before you even think of proposing.
Be sure that both of you are on the same page about where your relationship is and where it is going. Discussing your future together is important. Jeney says that once this discussion is done, planning your proposal with a certain degree of anticipation and time to register what is happening is also important.
Keep it Simple and Sweet
In the days leading up to the proposal, you might think of a million different things you want to say while going down on one knee. However, when the moment actually comes, in the excitement and nervousness of the moment, most people tend to freeze or completely forget what they had planned.
Velazquez suggests planning the proposal speech around three key things: what led up to this moment, why you want to marry them, and then actually proposing. This way, you will be able to say meaningful and romantic things without any pressure of getting it just right.
Know Your Partner’s Wishes
Most people probably have an idea of what they want their proposal to look like as well as what they don’t want. Nowadays, thanks to social media, lots of people think that if they “don’t go big or go home,” their partner will be disappointed.
However, big proposals might not be the right fit for everyone. Some might like grand gestures, but others might want to prioritize a personal moment between just the two of you and be embarrassed by the idea of proposing in public. The most important thing, no matter how you propose, is respecting your partner and their wishes.