While dreaming of the wedding is common, pondering over what married life would look like is another deal altogether. Most often, we hear that the first few years after marriage are the honeymoon years. Life after that, however, becomes less dreamy. This is because while many have ideas about how to successfully course through marriage, the practical side of things is quite different. So, expert Dr. Viviana Coles elaborates on the tips she believes can help couples better sail through the ups and downs of married life.
Talk to your partner. While this seems quite obvious, it is easier said than done. Dr. Coles explains that open communication is the key to any relationship, not just marriage. Most of us, unfortunately, aren’t mind-readers like Professor X. So, we need to tell the other person about the challenges we are facing. An important indicator of trust within couples is whether they are able to open up to you. If they aren’t, it’s probably because they don’t trust you enough or they fear hurting you by opening up.
Have Disagreements, Not Fights
While disagreements are part of a relationship, arguments are not. Dr. Coles recommends noticing if arguments or disagreements are frequent. Disagreements are normal and actually healthy, but arguments aren’t. If you guys argue very frequently, it might be time to reconsider things and sit down for some deep evaluations.
Talk About the Future
Share your views about the future. Talking of the future gives a sense of security to the relationship. If nothing else, it clears things up. If none of you mention the future in your conversations, whether it includes your partner or not, that is a bad sign, Dr. Coles explains.
Honesty Really Is the Best Policy
Honesty is something that can have a huge impact on any given relationship. So much so that it can make or break it. So, it’s generally better to refrain from lying about anything. Whether it is a little white lie or about something very important. So, Dr. Coles advises couples to come clean about anything that might become an issue if not clarified. Even if you come out to be the bad guy, it builds trust and transparency.
Note Your Own Feelings
Most people think prioritizing your partner in the relationship is good. While it may seem romantic, it is not healthy. Considering your own feelings about the relationship is equally important. This is because while on the surface you may be fine, things might bug you subconsciously.